Here’s the conclusion of Sgt. Whatthehel’s brave standoff against the rebels in the El Noor quadrant.
This is the third excerpt from An Incident in El Noor, a GAF novel slated for release later this year.
Keep checking back at GAF Mainframe for updates on this long-awaited account of Detach Detachment’s
heroic involvement in the El Noor Sector conflict.
Text and Image Copyright 2014 by Tony Stark
“Okay,” Splindy said jauntily. “Let’s see, then… pyeeeoooouuu, you said?”
“Yes.” Another artillery shell made a crater less than fifteen feet from his position.
“Well, that noise is probably the breaker blowing,” the TST advised. “You’ll need to-”
“I have already reset the breaker, and the same noise happens,” Wodin needed to start expediting this. His squad needed him. He needed him at this point.
“Ohhkayyy,” Splindy said, typing furiously. “Well, Sergeant, it seems it’s probably due to an EM dampening field of some kind. Are you near a reactor or on a planet with high Tesla flux coefficient?”
Wodin smacked his hand to his forehead. “Well, yes, but the Wrought Industries rep assured me it would work in fields as high as 1 Teratesla, and this planet only has a field three quarters that amount.”
“It will work in those conditions, if you buy the inductor coil amplifier circuit,” Splindy advised. “Did you buy the-”
“No!” Wodin said stridently. “No, Splindy. I did not. He didn’t tell me that.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that sir,” Splindy said. “There’s not a lot we can do at the moment with your current hardware to help you. If you like I can have an Inductor amplifier circuit sent to your location-”
“I’m currently in a foxhole in the El Noor quadrant taking heavy fire,” Wodin said, deadpan. “I doubt I’ll be alive to sign for it.”
“Ohhhhhh!” Splindy cried. “You’re on active GAF duty! Well, we do have some fixes for the GAF that we don’t release to the general public-”
“But you knew I was a Sergeant,” Wodin had to shout to make himself heard over the noise of the battle.
“I’m sorry, sir, but lots of people who buy at gun shows list their title as Sergeant. At least Sergeant,” Splindy confided. “Do you have your GAF Mainframe daily code?”
Wodin scrambled to balance the gun, the battery, the communicator and his helmet while he unbuttoned his flack jacket and poked at his PD on his wrist.
“It’s… hang on, loading,” he told the phone.
“Take your time, Sergeant,” Splindy replied calmly.
“Puce,” Wodin said. “The code is puce.”
Even over the din, Wodin heard typing over the line. “Great!” Splindy said happily. “OK, we won’t be more than a minute getting you a temp fix… Mag-Lev 3000, high EM flux field- greater than 500 gigateslas?”
“750,” Wodin growled.
“Riiight,” Splindy said. “OK, here we go… to override the safety mechanisms on the Mag-Lev 3000 for high EM flux numbers, take a narrow metal conductor and place it between the positive end of the battery and the battery cradle on the gun.”
Wodin blinked. “A narrow metal conductor?” he cried. “Where the hell-”
His eyes fell on his knife, still sticking out of the mud of the foxhole. “Right,” he replied. He jammed the battery back in its cradle on the gun and shoved his knife between the gold terminals of the positive end of the battery. A large blue spark arced out.
“Once accomplished, the extra EM charge will drain out of the gun,” Splindy continued. “When this is complete, prime the gun as normal and fire.”
“Thanks, dear,” Wodin told the phone and dropped it in the mud. Some garbled chirpy reply bubbled up out of the slime. He turned on the gun, waited the ages it seemed to take for the lights to turn blinking green, then again poised on the edge of the shelter facing his enemy.
“See you in hell, you godless motherfuckers!” Wodin shouted, and pulled the trigger.
The air seemed to ripple out from the barrel of the gun, and he could see the flashing bullets and shells slow in their trajectories, hum with galvanized magnetic charge, then rocket with increasing velocity back from whence they came. He began spraying the horizon with his gun barrel, and the bullets and shells in other lines of fire followed suit. From beyond the ridge where El Noor was dug in came screams and explosions. Black smoke tumbled upward as jeeps and supply sheds caught fire.
From around him in similar foxholes, a set of whooping cheers rose up.
Wodin smiled thinly, and continued to spray the enemy line.