Tales from Space Short Story Contest - On Now!

Tales from Space Short Story Contest - On Now!

Deadline for Personnel Files

Attention Active GAF members!

MEMO: Deadline for Personnel Files

FROM: General Skoda

TO: Every Frickin’ Body That Hasn’t Done What They’re Ordered


How long does it take you numbskulls out there to upload these personnel files? It’s been ten soladays, six and two thirds Rigeldays, and nothing.

I don’t care how busy you are.

I KNOW how busy you are. I give you your G*dDamn orders! So don’t send me a bunch of expensive Etherspace messages putting this off, telling me how busy you are! Those cost us money! As of this moment, any more I receive I am having the GAF Finance Seceretary deduct the cost from your credits!

Here is The Deadline:

04/30, nineteen hundred hours GAF Mainframe time. One nanosecond past, and you will be heaped in with the bunch of other lowlife skudbusters that don’t send in a personnel file update at all.

Brigadier General Emilies Vega Skoda, GAF HQ

Secretary: Sir, I believe you failed to mention in the memo the consequences for failure to file the update.

Gen: What? Oh, put it in then. At the end.

Secretary: Um, sir… the consequences being…

Gen: Oh, for Chrissakes, the consequences are any personnel files not updates by oh-one-thrity this solar year will be put on punitive duty in the Argyl Sector. Mining planets. Security. Can’t remember when we last sent those kids respirators. Don’t bother to look into it. Sent to the Argyl Sector for six months, then they can fill in their personnel files on the shuttle back to their regular command units. Now get over here, Dawnie, and give me some sugar.

Secretary: I’ll add that, sir.

Dictated but not read.

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